Discerning Boundaries and Questioning Our Good Intentions

As Christians, we value loving others—encouraging, supporting, guiding, and helping one another.

Yet recently, I have been deeply taught two important truths:

“The ability to discern boundaries, ”and“ The perspective that only those who can question their own good intentions possess.”

These are not separate lessons. Together, they form a wisdom that truly gives life to those we serve.

Scripture reminds us:

“The heart is deceitful above all things.” (Jeremiah 17:9)

This does not mean we are evil, but that even our own hearts can be difficult for us to fully see.

Good intentions, when unexamined, can sometimes cross into territory that belongs to another person’s walk with God.

That is why we need the ability to discern where our responsibility ends and where another person’s journey must remain their own.

The Apostle Paul writes:

“Test everything; hold fast what is good.” (1 Thessalonians 5:21)

This includes testing our own advice, thoughts, and intentions.

Questioning our good intentions is not self-condemnation; it is humility for the sake of love.

Jesus loved people deeply, yet Scripture says:

“He knew what was in man.” (John 2:25)

Jesus did not rush people, control them, or force change. He respected the space where God works within each person.

When we discern boundaries and remain willing to question our own intentions.

We move from being “those who lead” to those who walk alongside.

From control to respect. From pressure to trust. From outcomes to faithfulness.

If we pause, even briefly, before offering help and ask: “Is this within my boundary?” “Does my intention truly give freedom?”

Then our love becomes gentler, safer, and more deeply rooted in the gospel.